These last 8 weeks changed things for me on a deeply personal level

Before there was a global pandemic, there was a natural order to things, not just in how we worked and socialized but in our ideology and perceptions towards everything. Now, after nearly two months of an eerie new normal and an unclear future, many of us have been lucky enough to indulge in the luxury of introspection with time to reflect on what matters. I say this with the understanding that so many others have not had the same privilege and that they have only begun trying to figure out how to chart their new and unstable paths forward. For me, the journey has become deeply personal and I wanted to share some of this with all of you so that you know how you inspire me, motivate me and ground me.

Much of my original perspective was anchored in the context of “how it’s supposed to be.” CEOs are not supposed to be transparent or share our feelings lest our vulnerability or emotions be perceived as weak and unprofessional. CEOs are supposed to be invincible, super human and unfazed by the ebb and flow of the business so that they can lead with clarity, strength and an unbreakable will. Why is this how it is supposed to be? Why can’t leaders lead and be vulnerable?

These last 8 weeks did forever change things for me on a deeply personal level. I’ve had time to connect with my peers and mentors and close friends with an openness and honesty that has not previously been possible. In a series of recent conversations, I’ve had discussions with my peers, other CEOs and leaders where we’ve all felt the need to share our raw emotions. That’s never happened before.

We’ve discussed what we fear. When you ask someone what he is afraid of, you have to be wholly prepared to hear the answer and then to share your own fears. This takes more courage to admit to yourself than it does to say it aloud to someone else. 

Not being around my parents and I fear for their safety and health. If something happened to them right now, I would be unable to do anything to help them. An equally deep fear is that the economy really goes bust. I’ve spent 17 years building InRhythm and poured my heart, soul and life into it and fully comprehend the sacrifices that I’ve made, that my family has made and that my employees have made. If the economy truly dies, what will happen? Of course, I also fear deeply for my children. What if something happens to me and I am no longer able to help them? 

With every journey of learning and growth, we need to acknowledge what we’ve been through, what we’ve learned and how we’ve arrived at this point with an enriched perspective. 

As a first step, I am asking for forgiveness from everyone in my past whom I wronged or failed to  recognize the value of our relationship. I’m truly sorry that knowing me or working for me was not a positive experience. 

Second, I want to thank all those who have stood by me; I am deeply grateful. There are no words to express the gratitude that I feel. Now, more than ever, I recognize how valuable your relationships and efforts are and I sincerely thank you. 

Finally, I do not know what the rest of my journey will look like but I know that I want to go on it with you and I want it to be built on a foundation of positive experiences.

I humbly invite you to go on this journey with me, to share your insights, fears and lessons learned so that we can grow together. COVID has scourged the Earth like a curse, but it has been a blessing in the context of my own personal and professional development. Going forward from here, I look forward to a brighter future, one that we all hope will soon be upon us, and my wish is that we all grow into our next chapters with an enlightened perspective and a more contemporary version of how things are “supposed to be.”